The Blog of d10

Being an older woman for a first birth, I had all the fears  a too knowledgeable  person should have.  Being an older woman for a first birth, was I to pay for all my past indescretions? The 70's a wild time and I had led the parade.  God, please make him healthy and happy for his sake.  Do what you will with me, but please God don't take it out on the boy. 

A wee bit early and considered a preemie he had all the right parts and the weight was good and God, I knew you gave him my long legs the second I saw him.  Christ, look at the size of that head, is he okay?  Why are they taking him away - can I hold him, what's wrong? Scooped up and into ICU - what's wrong? Neo what? What is that? Hurry up and get me out of here.  Morphine? I don't want that, I won't be able to feed him.  Won't that hurt him? Where's Lumpy? Coffee and cigarette break - oh.  He missed this? I'm alone?

Can I see him? What the hell is neonatal intensive care? Why? Just precaution? Why am I being isolated? I need to see him.  Where's Lumpy? I'm alone? Why all the tubes? What the hell is happening? I need to see him. 

How did you guys get here? What are you doing here? Did you see him? Oh, he's there? What are they doing to him? Just precautionary? What the hell are these people talking about? Fever? Both of us? 100 and what? Christ, shouldn't we be convulsing?

Please, wheel me in there? Let me touch him.  Oh my God, he is so long and skinny.  Bets, Kate, look at that, I did that.  He looks just like me.  Long legs, big head, big feet.  Weird looking, huh, Bets? Anybody see Lumpy?

Today, sixteen years later, I remember that day like it was yesterday. You grew into the legs, head and feet.  Well maybe not quite yet, but none the less a perfect specimen of the male species.  A kind heart, a good mind , a beautiful body and a smile that melts my heart.  A beautiful man. 

Happy birthday my love, I'm not alone.