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The Blog of d10


Members can use our free journaling service to keep track of their day-to-day thoughts and feelings. Think of it as a diary that you can choose to share or keep private. There's a lot to do here, so login or join us today-- it's free and anonymous, and you can be participating in seconds.

Aug 20th, 2008

JUST ANOTHER PIECE OF TRASH

Thrown away.  Thrown away by too many. Did you think it would remain a secret forever?  I know of all of you. Promises broken? Promises made directly to me.  How can you call yourself a man when this is what you do to those you should be responsible for? You all moved on with your lives without once considering the lives of those you left in your wake.  Will anyone step up to the plate, be responsible for your actions and yes for once, be a MAN?

I am fully aware, through my poking around, that I have siblings.  Where did you bury those bodies?  Who are they? Where are they? Are they as confused as I? Should or could we consider ourselves family? Do they need help that only family can give? Genetic samplings. How careful do I need be when it is time to go back into the world?

Who I am, has nothing to do with you.  She did this.  She, the only decent person that ever walked into your life, is responsible for who I am.  I may look like you, but I am not you and never will be.  She raised me to be responsible, loving and caring. Stand up and fight for the weak, help the sick.  She fed me, she clothed me, she educated me, she loved me. 

You all have other Shes.  Did they also carry the weight of your responsibilites?

Your pathetic blood line continues only through me.  He will never know of you.  You don't deserve him.  He will not carry your name.  He looks like you too, but he is not you.  He is hers.  He will not be thrown away.  He will be responsible, loving and caring.  He will keep his promises. He will be a MAN.

 


This Journal Entry's Comment Board (3 comments)
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Posted on 03:28PM on Aug 20th, 2008
D, your young man will be a man... because of you... the best huMAN he can be.... because of you
Posted on 04:15PM on Aug 20th, 2008
Oh My God, D....you and I, we could be the same woman....I have no other words, other than to say that I KNOW.... my God, do I KNOW. There is a reason we have sons, you and I....we will teach them (are teaching them) not to "throw away". We will never be thought of as "trash" in their eyes....D, in our sons, we will learn to trust again...in ourselves...in our decisions....in our lives....and maybe, if chose to...in men.... Namaste (The Spirit within me bows to the Spirit within you.....one of it's many meanings and right now, the one I feel is most appropriate)
Feeling crushed
Posted on 07:28PM on Aug 20th, 2008
As with all of us, Stinky arrived without an instruction manual. Fortunately for me, the matriarchs in my upbringing were strong, hardworking, wonderful, responsible women, although far from perfect. The patriarchs unfortunately were a different story, not setting the bar too high. My opinion of them has never held them in high esteem. The irony came when God said, "here you go single Mom, a boy, see if you can do a better job with him".. .Overwhelming... It does take a neighborhood to raise a child and I thank God for those that have guided and helped me. I am a very lucky woman. I pray that I don't dishonor the matriarchs, taking bits of knowledge from each of them. I have witnessed a good amount of success to date, for which I am extremely grateful. We still have a bit to go with this marathon, but as we approach the finish line, I continue to pray for gold and I believe in my heart, he gets it.
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